ON GRATITUDE AND MENTAL HEALTH
This was written as a message to the staff of the Mental Health Commission of Canada.
As I reflect on my tenure with the Mental Health Commission of Canada (MHCC), I want to share some thoughts on the meaning of words – actually, of just one word: gratitude.
As parents, we teach our children that words matter. As we ready them for the playground or the classroom for the first time, we share some of the lessons we learned about words. For example, we tell them that angry words hurt, and caring words heal.
Of course, we share some of the lessons with them, but not all the lessons.
We don’t tell our children to beware the sting of fulsome flattery or the habit of spreading words like a coat of cheap paint over the cracks in our lives. We don’t tell our children because we know those are lessons for another time — lessons they have to learn on their own, just as we have.
And what parent hasn’t told their children to be grateful?
“Be grateful for the broccoli on your plate — you could be having liver and onions”!
Reflecting on the meaning of gratitude reminded me of a Quebecois expression that sums up this word exquisitely: Quand je me regarde je me désole, quand je me compare je me console. When I look at myself, I feel sorry, when I compare myself [to others], I feel better.
Life teaches us that gratitude is often a very relative, broccoli vs. liver and onions proposition.
But sometimes, life gives us something to be grateful for in the absolute: our children, a loving partner, our health. I am grateful for all of those, and now I am grateful for one more thing: having had the opportunity to work at the Mental Health Commission of Canada.
My gratitude stems from having experienced firsthand that which truly sets MHCC apart from any other organization I have worked for and with: the space it provides for real talk about personal mental health.
Never before have I worked in an environment where it was ok to be vulnerable; where it was ok to speak up about one’s struggles. Never before have I worked in an environment where colleagues proactively reached out to check-in with you, and with whom you could talk about the stressors in your life without fear of judgment or retribution.
As someone who has struggled with mental health issues since high school but had been afraid to acknowledge them until a very few years ago, working in an environment where it is ok not to be ok has been liberating; starting to shed the cloak of self stigma has been transformative and healing.
For that I am grateful.